Small Potatoes

Before I die I want to direct a good Iron Maiden video. They've had so few decent promos and as a hardcore (you know the score) fan, I reckon I might be the guy to give one those epic anthems a video that lives up to the track.

Sad reality is that they'll probably die before I even get chance, but then I could do one in their honour. I say this only because I was listening to A Matter of Life and Death earlier for the first time in a while, and forgot how mind shatteringly good it is. The guitar harmonies in the bridge of The Longest Day just make me wanna...

*has a cold shower*
That's better.

So about this character.

Yes that's right, if you read the previous post, you'll know that I have come up with a least character, for a screenplay, which I may write at somepoint.

His name, at least for the moment, is Buckethead and he's an uncooth cockney. And if I could envision anyone playing him it would be... me.

Let me explain because, as a mild mannered midlander, I naturally seem innapropriate for the role.The character originated from this silly voice I tend to do sometimes, usually whilst drunk. It's basically just a heavy cockney accent. Really heavy. And when doing it I tend insult people a lot.

As I'm sure you can guess, it's very popular.

I always knew I'd want to play a character in films I wrote. Not the main character mind, I tried that once and it made me very uncomfortable. I'd feel like an egomaniac if I wrote, direcred and was the star (sorry, Woody).

I just want the Silent Bob type role. Maybe with a few more lines. And a big sex scene. Yeah, that'd be sweet.

But seriously, this post I'd like to talk about probably my all-time favourite TV show. Probably.

The X-Files finished before I was probably old enough to truly be able to appreciate it. My mom always used to watch it, being a loyal fan since the first episode aired over here. I would watch with her occasionally and promptly soil myself in fear.

Seriously, I was afraid of nothing more than Eugene Tooms during my entire childhood.

But enough about what kept me up at night when I was 6.

I rediscovered the show a couple of years ago and have been totally hooked since. I think I only have about 6 more episodes of season 7 to watch and I'll have seen them all.

Yes it's taken me a long time, but I do have a life outside of the show.

Kinda...

This is really sad now; I have a favourite writer who worked on the show.

Vince Gilligan, to me, wrote the best episodes. Ok, you can't mess with Chris Carter's episodes either (Millagro is probably my overall favourite), but Vince Gilligan's are just so cooky.

Most hardcore fans will probably tell you that Darin Morgan wrote the best episodes. But they're wrong.

Damn wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I love all the episodes Darin Morgan wrote, but theres only four of them. From season three onwards Vince Gilligan just wrote quality episode after quality episode.

Amongst my person favourites are Pusher, Small Potatoes, Bad Blood, Drive, Dreamland 1 and 2, X-Cops, Je Souhaite and Sunshine Days. Actually, that's pretty much all of them.

See what I mean? They're all awesome.

He just has a nack for writing Mulder and Scully as people, rather than work obsessed agents for the Government machine. Theres a lot of humour in his episodes (e.g Mulder singing Shaft) and they always manage to make smile, if not laugh out loud. And trust, not much makes me laugh out loud, or "lol" as all the young people say.

The guys truly a gifted writer, though put his name into IMDB and you'll find he has a painfully short resumé.

It's tragic, but hopefully he'll write an awesome movie someday.

Or even better, they'll do more seasons of the X-Files.

Still a man can dream.

Albert Hosteen