The long and short of it

For the second time, here it is.

Not quite the colmination of my Total Film short film project, but at least the first scene from the script.

I could get all emotional about what a pleasure it's been to write this blog and that I've learnt so much about myself through doing it (which it has and I have), but rather than a lengthy goodbye, I'm going to leave you in the company of Fergal.

Fergal.

(working title)

by

Alexander Plant

Scene 1

INT: BEDROOM - Late afternoon.

The BEDROOM is typical of that of a student. It is messy. There are CLOTHES on the floor, the WALL is covered in POSTERS of various bands and films and there are lots of PHOTOS depicting people on nights out. Lying on the BED is PENNY, an attractive young woman with dark hair. She is looking up towards the ceiling. Sitting to the side of her and gazing at her fondly is FERGAL. He dressed casually and looks like any other slacker. He wears a PLAID SHIRT over an overwashed black T-SHIRT.

As the following scene unfolds the camera starts as a close up on PENNY. It then slowly pulls back.

PENNY

I dunno, he was just an asshole. I'm

fed up with guys like that, I really

am.

FERGAL

(o/c)

Yeah.

PENNY

You bet your ass, yeah. I just want to

be with someone who's good for me. I

mean, looking back now, I've always gone

for guys that I had an initial attraction

to but never bothered to find anything out

about them before hand. And that was

generally the problem: there was nothing

interesting about them.

FERGAL

(still partly o/c)

Yeah.

PENNY

Uh huh. I've grown to realise the

importance of friendship in relationsips.

A physical attraction just isn't enough.

I find that I'm at the age now where I

want companionship. It's not like I'm an

old maid or anything, but y'know, I want a

a relationship that's going to last. Like,

that started off as a really good friendhsip.

By this point the camera has zoomed out fully.

FERGAL

(raising an eyebrow)

Oh?

PENNY sits up and turns to face him.

PENNY

Yeah. I think it's obvious really.

FERGAL

(nervously)

Is it?

PENNY

(giggling)

Yeah, how can be in love with someone

your not friends with?

FERGAL

(his voice goes momentarily

high pitched)

L-love?

PENNY

Absolutely. I can't believe I didn't

see it before. This changes everything.

She looks down and smiles to herself.

FERGAL

It certainly does.

FERGAL moves in to kiss her. She doesn't see him coming and stands up. Consequently, he falls off the bed.

PENNY

Oh Ferg, you're so silly. Come on,

let's go get chicken.

PENNY leaves the BEDROOM. FERGAL slowly pulls himself up. He has a FEATHER in his mouth. He spits it out then pauses.

FERGAL

Bitch.

He then slowly leaves the BEDROOM

CUT TO:

My Comical Romance

This is where I boil blogging down to its essence: moaning about "chicks and stuff".

I've never been one to air my dirty laundry for all to see. I'm a fairly private person in that regard. But when it comes to creative writing I could not advise you enough to go straight to your love life.

It's a pot of gold.

Often, I have trouble expressing my feelings and emotions, especially when it comes to anger.

Now, if experience has taught me anything it's that bottling up emotions is not a good thing. Sure, its an easy way to deal with things, but it will damage you. Seriously.

So my advice to you is take your feelings and put them in the form of words. It can be however subtle you like, depending on what your writing for. I think one of the best things I've ever written was my creative writing coursework for my English A-level.

Long story short, I wrote about how crap my love life had been since I was old enough to realise I had one. I tried to write it in a comic way, painting myself as a pathetic idiot who set himself up for disaster everytime he came in contact with a woman.

Not much has changed really.

But it was an extroadarily honest piece of writing because of the realistic level of emotion I was using. I think it could've been taken either way, but fortunately I got a very good grade for it.

Now, I'm not saying that everything I've written/will write is taken directly from my life, nor am I saying you should do that. But borrow things and put a different spin on them. It'll also make you feel a hell of a lot better about it all.

Think about Alice Still Lives Here. Underneath all the hammy acting and terrible continuity you have probably the scariest ex-girl friend imagineable.

I haven't had the worst love life ever, by a long shot. But things have rarely ended pleasantly. I don't really communicate with any of my ex's, two of them flat out hate me. Yet interestingly, they're ones I've never written about...

I bring all this up because I'm going in a similar direction for the short film I'm working on. I want to do something on a more personal level that people will be able to connect with.

That's a pretty tall order for film that has to be less than ten minutes long, but I just want to make something people can watch and be like "Yeah, that's true."

I'm not going to making any overly obvious references to specific individuals, just in case you were thinking "Oh great, I can take revenge by suing his ass Mars and back." I'm smarter than that.

Well, maybe I am...

On a similar note, a film that has always been very personal to me is High Fidelity.

I was in my early teens when I first saw it and at that time I was mostly loved it for Jack Black (to this day I still think it's his best performance) but as I grew older I was able to relate to the whole failed love side of the film, as well idea of living a life through music.

I'm sure I have a great film in me that is of the same ilk as High Fidelity, it'll probably be a complete rip off, but at least it'll be flattering.

That'll be how I get sued, I'm sure of it.

But to me the film offers great insight into the male mind in a way few other films do. I'd love to just write something that was simply about being the kind of man I am.

I was lucky enough to meet High Fidelity's director, the oscar nominated Stephen Frears, a few months ago. I told him how much the film meant to me and then had a brief conversation with him about "watching out for Clint Eastwood".

It was all very embarrassing in hind sight, like so many of the things I do (see "Video Nasty").

Shiny

So, heres a surprise: Theres been a largely positive reaction to my video blog. Ok, its not like people are coming up to me in the street and being all "Hey, do the Broken Wings dance, yo!" But I have been having a lot of nice feedback from people.

I'm still expecting a good flaming, though.

While I'm on the subject of online videos, you absolutely need to watch Playstation 3 ads. They're unbleivable! They're so messed up its untrue. I think a few of them have been on TV, but the full 5 minute one is available here, as well as the shorter ones. They are seriously brilliant. It's like if David Lynch directed a Playstation advert. I've become quite obsessed with them. I'm even writing an essay on them currently for one of my modules.

But anyway, the Total Film short film contest, my new goal. I've hatched an idea, I don't want to say too much about it really, I'm saving that for my next post. But I've begun to plan it all out.

The deadline is July 16th, I think, so what I'm planning to do is have it written by the time I finish the semester for Uni. That might be a little difficult as I have a couple of essays coming and then exams to worry about, but I'm gonna try my best.

I've always aimed to try and make my impression while I'm still relatively young, Sam Raimi style. Its all very wishful thinking, but this could be an opportunity and I intend to seize it. If not to try and win the competition, then for the sheer joy of making films, which is what it should all boil down to. If I don't do it because I love it, then what would be the point of wanting to have a career in it?

My video blog reminded me how much I love editing. Kevin Smith says that his favourite parts of making a film are the writing and editing, and I totally agree, because those are the two stages where you're able to watch things come together.

I love to see how things develop. Its really rewarding to see something that started off as a silly little idea in your head turn into a really well fleshed out piece.

Speaking of well fleshed out pieces...

I hope to GOD, that people have seen Firefly. Its one of those shows that I could not reccommend enough. You're probably more likely to have heard of Serenity, which was the film that was spawned from the show. But the show is really where the moneys at. Well, technically not, as it did get cancelled, but I know what I mean.

It has possibly the best ensemble cast ever, with some truly impressive performances. I know I always go on about character, but this show is intensely character based. I don't think I'd ever be able to write anything like this. I couldn't manage the sheer amount of complex characters.

Everyone loves Buffy, but I think Joss Whedon truly out did himself with Firefly. The film was great too, but I really hope they make another series. Its such a classy show. It couldn't be more different from Sci-Fi shows like Star Trek. It's so accesible.

If you take one thing away from my blog, and its my advice to you to watch Firefly, then you're one of the lucky ones.

Video Nasty

So here it is:



Filmed unfortunately before I had the revelation about the Total Film short film competition and I probably ramble for far, far too long.

The following is the blurb I wrote for YouTube.

"The first and, most likely, only video installment of unpopular filmmaker Alexander Plant's blog, The Liquid-Chest Files.

In which our hero laments over vlogging "because he has to", talks about himself as if people actually know who he is, seeks to find a way to integrate himself into the YouTube community then breaks his neighbours window whilst trying to do so, tries to explain the format of his blog, talks very briefly about having a screenwriting revelation, brown noses Kevin Smith perhaps a little too much, talks about American Pie as if it's The Godfather, has a sad moment of self-realisation and worries about being flamed to death."

"Swallow this!"

I read this great article in Total Film magazine earlier. It was the first in a three part guide as to how to make a film. They're also running a competition that you can send short films in for, with prizes in numerous different categories.

It was all rather basic stuff, but very interesting indeed. It was written by the guys who wrote The Guerilla Filmmaker's Handbook, something that should be my Bible, but is actually something I've only ever had a quick flick through whilst in book stores. I should really change that.

Anyway, the reason I bring all this up because I feel like I've lost sight a little of my original aims when I set out to write this blog. Sure, it's been helpful for me indeed, I've made more progress over the span of the past seven posts than I have in the past seven months. But I'm still not working towards anything in particular, when I really should be.

So I'm going to grab the proverbial bull by the proverbial horns and do proverbial things to it...

By this, of course, I am not referring to any kind of bestiality (no matter how proverbial) and, obviously, am referring to the fact that I intend to enter Total Film's short film competition.

So alright, this could be seen as a bit of cop out, as I intended to be working toward a feature film, and, in all honesty, that is what I would much rather do than make another short. However, writing this blog has opened me up to a lot of truths about myself. What started off as a place where I could publish silly little ramblings has taken on a very psychological edge, for me at least. Because, I'm sure you're thinking, "Okay, he's finally lost it."

And maybe I have. Maybe I have...

Either way, this blog has become very cathartic for me. And I've realised that I need to get some serious practice in as a filmmaker, if I ever want to make it.

Don't believe me? Remind yourself of Alice Still Lives Here.

Good. I'm glad we're on the same page now.

So here I am, now with a clearly defined goal. Of course theres no way that I'm going to have a film finished and ready by the time this blog project is over. But I hope that by the end I'll be able to present you, the nonexistent reader, with a sample of a script.

Also, I'm not completely out of practice, as my video blog, which is nearly finished, was a nice little exercise in editing, as you'll see very soon.

Right now, though, I want to take a few moments to talk about The Evil Dead.

It probably seems dated to most viewers, considering how special effects have come along over the last 25 years, but for fans of cult horror and anyone with an interest in filmmaking, the film remains a classic. It's a truly iconic horror comedy, it's sequel (my favourite) even more so and it made me a die hard Bruce Campbell fan (his books are genius and he lights up any screen he appears on).

But what's most important is the story of how it was made. Sam Raimi was only 19 when he made The Evil Dead, that's as old as I am now, hence my eagerness to get a move on. It's a great lesson in filmmaking, but one that you'll need to find out for yourself. I don't want to dampen the effect by rambling on about it here. Hopefully, it'll strike you in the same way it struck me, that is if you haven't already seen it. And if not, you clearly have had your soul swallowed by a deadite.

Video blog next!

Alsh.

Skip to the End

I often wonder that if I ever get round to making, or even writing, a film, what type of film it would be. I'm a fan of most genres, but, truth be told, most of my favourite films are genre oddities or genre splicers.

Who could deny the perfect marriage of horror and comedy in Evil Dead 2?

Or who wouldn't shed a manly tear at the superhero/coming of age/family romp that is The Iron Giant.

I don't care who knows it: I love that film.

The fact is that I never set out to rewrite the sci-fi genre.

I never intended to give the horror genre a much needed reinvigoration.

And I will most likely never do either of those things.

I don't really have a grand idea when it comes to what I want to do, or what I want to say. All I know is that I just want to make films. All I really want to do, give people something in their lives that makes them a little bit happier.

Sounds really cheesy, I know, but if anything I ever did had an effect similar to the one that Clerks has had on me, I'd die more than happy.

Of course therein lies the problem. I'm my own worst critic. I have such fiendishly high standards (I know that's hard to believe if you've seen Alice...) that I never never come up with anything up to scratch.

Especially when theres someone already beating me to it.

In a previous post I mentioned that Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright were partly responsible for returning my faith back in this country. This was no lie.

I think everyone and their dog has seen, and loved, Shaun of the Dead. Rightly so too. Along with Lock-Stock I would say it's one of the last decades most defining British films. Hot Fuzz too, is an extremely enjoyable film, even if it does get a bit messy about two thirds in.

The real jewel in the crown for me though, is Spaced. I'm sure since the popularity of Shaun and Fuzz, most people are now aware that before the Rom-Zom-Com, there was a little show called Spaced.

I think it's pretty safe to say that there hasn't really been another British sitcom like Spaced. I think I read once that when Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson started writing it, they wanted to something that was like The Simpsons, with a surrealist edge. That's a pretty fair description I think.

The erratic camera work was something that particularly effected me. I want to so badly to rip-off Edgar Wright's trademark blurry pan cut. Thats just a nickname I gave it. You'll have to watch it for yourself to properly understand it. But it's just an awesome piece of camera/editing technique.

The scripts too, are razor sharp. Absolutely boiling over with pop culture and film references. It's really rewarding for a nerd like me to be able to watch and pick up on the many, many, references.

I get the impression that Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright are guys not so dissimilar to me. They're movie buffs too, albeit with a hell of a lot more talent and flair for originality. They makes films and what not that movie buffs can enjoy. Which, is what I would really love to do.

I remember on walking out of the cinema after seeing Hot Fuzz, my associate, Gash asked me what I thought. I simply replied "I'm just jealous that they're making these films before I get chance to."

Scrambled eggs all over my face

Welcome, once again.

I was thinking about how I write recently, after recieiving some criticism on short script I wrote. This script eventually became the short ShutEye, which I made with some people off my course last December.

So I guess that's not really that recent, but writing this blog made me think about my approach to writing.

In the feedback for the project there were the notes "A good, funny little script, but it should not have contained camera directions." Or something to that effect.

I never used to write camera movement and framings into my scripts, that is, until I did A-level film studies, where they made us do that. I was initially against it, but after it just became natural.

I've always wanted to be a writer/directer, rather than just one or t'other. It just seems right to write in shot framing and camera movements into a script, rather than make it like a bizarrely laid out story.

I just write it as I visualise it. Like the guy who writes those erotic comics in The Sun.

It's helpful for me, as my storyboards are terrible, and I think it gives the cast and others involved a good way to get an idea of the effect I want to acheive.

I'll stop now, becuase I'm going off on one of those director type rants.

Instead I'll talk about Frasier, a show I've loved for years. Back in the day me, my dad and my sister would watch the double bill every night religiously on Paramount Comedy. I still love it today though. Over the last two days I've watched no less than 18 episodes.

It's OK, I'm aware I have no life.

The show is so simplistic and yet so subtle. It's just extremely well written farce. But you care so much about the characters. I smile whenever I see Niles almost get with Daphne, or when they're trying to keep a truth from someone and covering it up really poorly (Martin as an astronaught, anyone?)

It's one of those shows that never dipped in quality throughout it's ten year run. A few years ago it was voted the best sitcom of all time by people in the industry. A bold claim, but one that I think is easily justifiable.

I'd love to write something as complex and layered as Fraiser, I've threw in references in past scripts I've written for various bits and bobs, and I think it's heavily influenced the way I write largely sarcastic characters.

Hell, it's influenced the way I'm a largley sarcastic character.

I mentioned lat time that there was a video blog coming soon. This was no lie. I'm currently in the preparation stages of creating, what will no doubt be, the poorest video blog (or vlog, as all the kids say) ever.

So you've got that to look forward to.

Goodnight, Seattle.